Bunslinger and the Altered Time Rat

Originally posted March 21, 2014


An epic thread on the GURPS forums: change a letter, change the advantage. Some choice examples:

Wombat Reflexes When threatened, you can move at high speed for 90 seconds. And then stop. And move very slowly.

Trained by a Masher Nobody makes better potatoes. Nobody.

High Paint Threshold You can work around paint for days on end and not be overcome by fumes.

Inane Attack You make your enemies laugh every time you get violent… seriously they are mocking your attack.

Combat Refluxes  You vomit out your giblets when attacked, like a sea cucumber

Vampiric Kite  This is an alternative to Signature Gear. You possess a magical kite that can drain life out of other kites, rendering them useless and incapable of flying, whereas your kite becomes more adept at it.

Doesn’t Steep Your internal temperature is unaffected by being submerged in hot water.

Bunslinger Deadly accuracy with baked goods

Unbillable Utility companies, physicians, attorneys, and the like may not collect payments from you for services rendered.

Enhanced Mime Sense Foes will find it impossible to trap you in a box.

Divine Flavor You taste delicious. Predators and cannibals (or herbivores if you are a plant) react accordingly.

Honest Lace Nobody will doubt the sincerity of your lace

Park Vision You get +4 to Vision rolls to spot open parking spaces.

Enhanced Tim Sense You have an uncanny ability to detect the presence of anyone named Tim, even if they attempt to lie about their name.

Enhanced Fracking By managing a hydrocarbon extraction mining operation, you can double its extraction speed. This only works if there is anything to extract.

Extra Farms This perk allows you to buy more Wealth than your single farm would reasonably support, because your either own or work at one or more extra farms.

Extra Heath If you already own rural property, you also legally own a small moor or heath nearby as well. It does not give any extra income (unless you buy extra levels of Wealth), but you can tell people to get off your land.

Extra Kegs When throwing low-brow parties, you never run out of beer – it just takes a few minutes for someone to roll your extra kegs out of the back room. Inebriated people may have to make DX rolls to move the kegs.

Cod of Honor When holding aloft a cod (or similar fish), onlookers will treat you as perfectly honorable, even if they know your aren’t.

Prefect Balance You can reliably play magistrates and officials off against each other. You can also drive midcentury British automobiles on two wheels and similar feats.

Altered Time Rat You have an ally that is a surgically enhanced rodent from the future.

Intuit Ion: You have an instinctive sense for the electrical charge of atoms.

Grue Faith You just know that if you turn out the lights, a monster is going to get you.

Elves and Toasters

Originally published March 19, 2014

Conversation of the day (yesterday). Mike was describing an argument he was in on  reddit.

Me:I didn’t get into any arguments today.How boring. Mostly because I was looking at GURPS stuff instead of reddit. PDFs are generally not very argumentative


Me: This is GURPS. Elves can crossbreed with toasters if the GM allows it.

Mike: AAAAAAAH! *head explodes*

Me: did your head crossbreed with a grenade?